вЂњWeвЂ™ve never heard a good speech that started, вЂAs Jane Austen once said,вЂ™вЂќ said Ms. Ellert-McDermott said, вЂњnobodyвЂ™s perfect.вЂќ Also, try to avoid quotes. If you find yourself writing a string of clichГ©s, toss your speech and get down to basics, said Jason Mitchell Kahn, a New York-based wedding planner and the author of вЂњGetting Groomed: The Ultimate Wedding Planner For Gay Grooms.вЂќ вЂњWhen a client comes to me,вЂќ he said, вЂњwe focus on three points to hit: how you met, what you loved about them before they met each other, and how youвЂ™ve seen their lives enriched as theyвЂ™ve commingled.вЂќ Another tip: DonвЂ™t say things like вЂњtheyвЂ™re perfect for each other,вЂќ because, as Ms. ItвЂ™s easy to panic and Google a wedding speech template, but cut-and-paste jobs rarely make memorable speeches. вЂњIf you can spot a theme in all the randomness, then thatвЂ™s how it all comes together,вЂќ Ms. It can center on the brideвЂ™s obsession with finding the perfect taco, or the groomвЂ™s horrible singing voice. Eustache said she has noticed an increase in speeches about resilience and perseverance since the pandemic, but your theme doesnвЂ™t have to be lofty. вЂњIt will help you stay focused and not be too long-winded, and build an outline,вЂќ said Carla Eustache, 38, the owner of Style Perfect Events, which is based in Charlotte, N.C. Instead of talking about everything there is to know about the couple, narrow it down by identifying a theme. A quick, вЂњThanks for comingвЂќ wonвЂ™t ruin a speech, but it shouldnвЂ™t be the focus. You can thank people individually, and instead center your speech on stories, humor and emotion. вЂњAnyone who has listened to an Oscars acceptance speech knows that thank yous are boring,вЂќ Ms. Ditch the Thank YousДonвЂ™t start your speech by thanking the guests, the DJ, the florist, the parents, and the band. Gather stories or find out traits or quirks about the couple that other friends or family love.

Ellert-McDermott suggests inviting the couple or other friends to brainstorm with you. вЂњDonвЂ™t confine it to this secret thing that has to be done in a dark room the night before when youвЂ™re panicking,вЂќ she said. Ellert-McDermott suggests making it a group effort. ThereвЂ™s a tendency to think of the speech-writing process as something solitary, but SpeechyвЂ™s Ms. вЂњStart by asking yourself why youвЂ™re giving the speech,вЂќ said Tess Barker, 38, a Los Angeles-based comedian who has a вЂњdeep rГ©sumГ© as a bridesmaid.вЂќ Thinking about your relationship to the couple can help you focus on memories you share, and remind you that youвЂ™re not giving a State of the Union address - youвЂ™re simply speaking to someone you care about. If youвЂ™re staring at a blank page, take a step back and think about your relationship to the couple. If youвЂ™ve been charged with saying a few words about the couple, there are a few things to remember that will help you ease your anxiety and inspire you to speak from the heart. As such, thereвЂ™s more pressure on speeches to bring a weightiness or gravitas to the event, I think.

вЂњThe fact that two people want to tackle that tomorrow together feels especially noteworthy. вЂњWeвЂ™re all so acutely aware that no one has any idea what tomorrow will bring,вЂќ said Marisa Polansky, a founder of the Brooklyn-based speech writing service Speech Tank with Kristine Keller. Public speaking, whether itвЂ™s in front of 10 people or 100, can be intimidating, and if youвЂ™ve ever sat through a lengthy, clichГ©-riddled wedding speech, you know itвЂ™s not so easy to pull off a memorable toast.

Love them or hate them, вЂњa speech gives people something to talk about, and itвЂ™s an amazing bonding juice,вЂќ says Heidi Ellert-McDermott, the founder of Speechy, a British company that creates bespoke speeches for weddings around the world. But one tradition has stayed strong, and even thrived, over the last year: the wedding speech. Massive parties with 10-piece bands and champagne fountains gave way to backyard microweddings and Zoom celebrations during the pandemic.

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